I have yet to meet a parent who wants her child to be more flighty. Yet I have met a great many parents who want their children to be able to focus on a task at hand. So how does one learn to focus? And, for parents, how can we teach children to focus?
Model Focus
It may come as a shock to us parents that our children learn from us. The most powerful influence we exert on our children is by our example. With respect to focus, this is eminently true. Parents have a myriad of duties and responsibilities to fulfill, and only twenty-four hours in the day. Whether they want to or not, our children witness how we focus (or fail to do so) in the fulfillment of these duties and responsibilities.
Reduce Distractions
Perhaps the easiest way to both model and encourage focus is to reduce distractions. For example, if you ask your three-year-old to book his books back on the shelf, you can narrow his focus by reducing other factors. You can turn off the music. Push the pile of toys off to the side (for the moment). Sit on the floor with him and focus your eyes on him and his task. All of these simple actions reduce distraction and make the task at hand more manageable.
Build Routines
When my daughter comes home from school, she has a routine. She puts away her jacket and bookbag, pulls up a chair and does her homework. When she has finished her homework, she practices the piano. The routine makes it easy for her to focus. I don't have to tell her to hang up her jacket, because she knows that is part of the routine. She doesn't have to wonder when she'll practice the piano before bedtime. It is woven into the fabric of her daily routine.
A Cornerstone Skill
Learning to focus one's attention is a cornerstone skill. It is a skill that underlies the proper functioning and acquisition of many, many other skills. Therefore teaching a child to focus is one of the most important lessons a parent can teach. The question is whether we will focus our attention sufficiently to help our children develop this master skill.
How can parents teach children to focus?
February 6, 2010
