Essential Questions

“C.S. Lewis said that no book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally worth reading at the age of fifty.” (Honey for a Child’s Heart)

While emphatically true, I think that Lewis’ claim can be extended to even younger ages. Books worth reading to your preschooler are worth reading for yourself. That’s why, when evening reading time comes, I deliberately choose the books to read to my four-year-old daughter. The ones that have no plot or shallow characterization go straight back to the library; but the ones that say something, and say it well, we read again and again.

In our book recommendations, which will be linked to a child’s developmental stage, we will recommend books that are worth reading, not just those that sell a lot of copies. Our hope is that parents and children alike will discover the joy of books worth reading . . . and rereading.

Every parent develops a reading list of children’s literature - intentionally or unintentionally. That list may be very short and sorry, or may be long, and just as undiscerning; or, short or long, it may comprise books that really connect with children. The measure of a reading list, whether written or contained only in one’s mind, is the quality of the literature, not the length of the list.

So how does a parent construct that reading list? Robert Coles, in selecting books for his college and graduate students, offers wisdom that is valuable for parents of young children:

“Over time I began to learn from the students that constructing a good reading list involves not so much matching student interest with author’s subject matter (though there is no reason to ignore the pleasure that such a correspondence can offer) as considering the degree of moral engagement a particular text seems to be able to make with any number of readers.” (The Call of Stories p190)

The literature that tumblon recommends follows Coles’ counsel: children often connect well with these books, regardless of whether they had a previous affinity for the content. By constructing a good reading list for parents at each stage of early childhood, we aim to help parents in the process of defining and refining their own lists. If we succeed, parents and children will frequently enjoy - and be shaped by - great children’s literature.

In a world where time and resources are always limited, it is wise for parents to ask: “How can I best help my child?” The answer shapes how we have designed tumblon to help parents prioritize:

“Parent input can affect language development more than any other of your baby’s skills.” (The Baby Book)

Not only is language development most responsive to nurture, it also wields the greatest influence over social and cognitive development. Healthy early language skills prevent unnecessary frustration and encourage healthy patterns of communication that facilitate learning in all areas.

For this reason, we put literacy and speech and language milestones at the top of each child’s summary page so that parents see first the area in which they can have the greatest impact on their child’s development. It is one more way that we make parenting simple.

In Mitten Stings for God, Katrina Kenison writes:

“We do too much and savor to little. We mistake activity for happiness, and so we stuff our children’s days with activities, and their heads with information, when we ought to be feeding their souls instead.”

There is a danger in active parenting to do precisely what Kenison describes, to the detriment of our children. In a story titled Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills Alix Spiegel reports that in addition to affecting their souls, over-scheduling children diminishes the healthy development of executive function:

“Executive function has a number of different elements, but a central one is the ability to self-regulate. Kids with good self-regulation are able to control their emotions and behavior, resist impulses, and exert self-control and discipline. . . . Poor executive function is associated with high dropout rates, drug use and crime. In fact, good executive function is a better predictor of success in school than a child’s IQ. Children who are able to manage their feelings and pay attention are better able to learn. As executive function researcher Laura Berk explains, “Self-regulation predicts effective development in virtually every domain.”" (ibid., emphasis mine)

In order to help parents enjoy their children, and not ‘mistake activity for happiness’, we are designing our resources section to be rich with developmentally appropriate activities that children can enjoy in self-directed and interactive play so that they develop healthy executive function - and parents can savor each step of the journey.

Yesterday I took my daughter to the dentist, and overheard two mothers, each with a two-year-old, bemoaning the “terrible twos.” I watched the mothers and children over the course of an hour or so as we waited to see the dentist, and couldn’t help but notice that the mothers hadn’t planned to engage their children during the time in the waiting room. Neither had brought toys, crayons, books or anything to do with their children in the waiting room (which was earning its name). Instead they were constantly correcting the two-year-olds who were perpetually looking for something to do, and complaining to one another about the challenges of parenting at this “terrible” stage.

It struck me that a very small change in their parenting habits would make an immense difference in the frustration that they and their children felt. If each had a brought bag with one age-appropriate book, a toy and an activity (like a coloring book), the children would have played happily, and the mothers could have spent the hour talking about how rich this stage of childhood is.

It struck me that these were not terrible parents. They weren’t yelling at their kids or shaming them. However, their lack of planning made their experience of the two-year-old year terrible, and set a precedent of frustration for years to come.

Through tumblon, we aim to make it easy for parents to appropriately engage their children at each stage with recommended books, toys, tips and activities keyed to the child’s age. In less than one minute, parents can browse the kinds of things that will enthrall their children - and make time in waiting rooms fun instead of frustrating. If it catches on, the “terrible twos” might just lose that epithet.

At the end of The Brothers Karamozov, Alyosha spoke to the young people who revered him:

“My dear children . . . you must know that there is nothing higher and stronger and more wholesome and good for life in the future than some good memory, especially a memory of childhood, of home. People talk to you a great deal about your education, but some good, sacred memory, preserved from childhood, is perhaps the best education. If one carries many such memories into life, one is safe to the end of one’s days, and if one has only one good memory left in one’s heart, even that may be the means of saving us.”

Parents bear the responsibility of both shaping and preserving memories. We shape them by giving our children opportunities, and by being fully present with them, to be aware of what is going on. We preserve them in writing and in oral tradition (and now in photos and videos). These memories shape the personality, character and purpose of our children.

At tumblon, we encourage parents to take responsibility for shaping and preserving memories - and we provide a format in which those memories can be shared across the miles, and enjoyed over the years. We aim to help parents provide what is “perhaps the best education” a child can receive.