Essential Questions

Three approaches to parenting
In a thoughtful article in the Los Angeles Times, Dale Russakoff presents a parable told by Phyllis Hunter, former director of reading for Houston's public schools.

Hunter's first mother wheels her shopping cart down the produce aisle of a supermarket, where her kindergartner spots an eggplant and asks what it is. The mother shushes her child, ignoring the question. The second mother, faced with the same question, responds curtly, "That's an eggplant, but we don't eat it."

The third mother seizes the moment: "That's an eggplant," she says enthusiastically. "It's one of the few purple vegetables." She picks it up and encourages her child to put it on the scale. "Oh, look, it's about two pounds!" she says. "And it costs $1.99 a pound. Let's round it to $2. That would cost just about $4. That's a bit pricey, but you like veal Parmesan, and eggplant Parmesan is delicious too. You'll love it. Let's buy one, take it home, cut it open. We'll make a dish together."

Russakoff concludes, "Hunter's parable makes clear why an attentive, engaged parent is one of life's greatest academic advantages." The trouble, Russakoff argues, is that although there is widespread agreement of the power of families' influence, it is difficult to find intervention strategies that work with the families that need it most.

Why is it so hard?
If you walk through a grocery store, it is easy to spot the three types of parents Hunter identifies. Not without reason, interventions have focused on encouraging the behaviors exhibited by the third mother because they are so beneficial to her children. The trouble with focusing on the behaviors is that they cannot be separated from an entire way of seeing the world. The attentive mother engages her children because she sees her role as important and her children as responsive to her direction. 


What is needed?
The pressing question is not how to get certain parents to change their behavior. The pressing question is how to precipitate a paradigm shift - a new vision - that undergirds nurturing action. How can you help parents to see that they play the most important role in the nurture and education of their children? How do you help them to see that they are not only influential, but responsible for the nurture and education of their children? Only when these questions are answered will there be meaningful change in parent engagement.