Essential Questions

Being described as a "shallow" person is a painful epithet. Likewise, we use the word "flat" to describe a character in a book or movie that lacks depth. We long to see someone who responds virtuously to a wide range of experiences, from painful to ecstatic. The people who gracefully handle both we rightly call heroes. We look for them in literature and in life, because their way of being can handle both the hard and the easy.

What makes us long for depth?
Why are these kinds of characters so appealing? And why is a flat character or a shallow person so repulsive? We want a way of seeing the world and being in the world that is comprehensive. It relates back to the first question Is the story authentic? To be authentic is to correspond to the way the world really is. To be truly authentic, it must also be comprehensive. It cannot just correspond to one part of the world, but to the world in its entirety.

Can your story handle adversity?
There are many children's books that have a small, simple plot. Yet as they grow up, children what more than, "Where's Spot?" They want a problem that looks more like the real world, and has a satisfying solution. The books that children (and adults) love - the books that endure as classics - offer problems that reflect the complexity of the real world, and resolutions that reflect the reality of this world.

What is the story that shapes your lens?
One of the challenges and privileges of parenting is realizing that your story is too small. It worked for you when you didn't have to think about what was important to impart to your children. But when you consider it carefully, you find it lacking. This is good news! This is the test of comprehensiveness at work. You may well find that the story that defines your life isn't comprehensive enough for the experience of parenting. If there are gaps that you're not aware of, your children will be sure to point them out as they grow up.

The point is not to hide from or deny these gaps, but to seek a way of seeing the world that has integrity, and is comprehensive. It will involve asking many honest questions. The integrity of asking those questions, and admitting when you don't have an answer, is precisely what will communicate the importance of integrity to your children.